I remembered posting an article weeks back and I was surprised by the number and intensity of responses to it. I am not going to tell what post it was but it is still in my blog here. The reason? Simply t not broadcast the name of the person who made this reaction. It did struck me badly! I thought I am the only one who think this way but I have seen that most of the young Filipinos abroad have parallel thinking as of mine.

I’ll just post it here to see the real sentiment of some persons who reacted to one of my posts. I will never edit them. If I remembered it good, there are at least two of them. I see how some of you react to it and I will be happy to see the statistics what kind of reaction comes from who and from where..

Here they go..

I totally agree with you!!! I’ve often critiqued the Filipino parents’ mentality myself.

I am a 22-year old Filipino student in Canada about to graduate from university this year and youngest of two children.

What is bugging me recently is how my mom and her partner tries to manipulate the way I think regarding the financial and social responsibilities that I should keep in mind and should fulfill even after I move out of their place.

These financial responsibilities include:
1. Letting my mom retire early.
2. Give monthly allowance to parents.
3. Help them pay off their mortgage.
4. Send my OLDER IRRESPONSIBLE sister to school and pay off her $13,000 debts.
5. Pay for my own god-damn $30,000 student loan myself.
6. Sponsor at least one relative from the Philippines to Canada.
7. Send at least one relative to university in the Philippines.
8. Take over my mom’s financial responsibility by sending monthly allowance to her siblings, my cousins and other ‘poor’ relatives back home.

I am also expected to get a $40,000 salary right after graduation, my salary must be higher than their salaries combined. My boyfriend should also be rich and not someone who is also on student loan, which is the case (my 4-year bf is also expected to finish paying her mom’s mortgage and pay for his younger brother’s school; her mom also has a partner but he doesn’t pay shit for anything because he thinks her children should do those things for her).

I don’t plan nor intend to follow any of these traditional Filipino shit. I don’t mind helping my parents with household work nor giving them expensive gifts or even money on mother’s day, birthdays and Christmas, BUT it definitely should not go as far as the ridiculous monthly allowance nor the whole paying off their mortgage thing! What the fuck will be left for my own fucking mortgage, utility bills, food, gas in addition to the cost of raising children!?!?! Do they even think of how expensive the standard of living in Toronto is?! Or how about my own plans for my future children like sending them to prestigious schools, sending them abroad to study, and paying for their undergraduate, masters and postdoctoral education!?!

I hope to end this whole typecasting of Filipinos as socially and financially-disadvantaged race in Canada who only works as nannies or who are mostly found in retail, factory, hotels, and restaurants! Invest in your children’s fucking education for fuck sake. Send your children to PRIVATE SCHOOLS. Hire a tutor if you must. Help your children with their homework. Get involved in their school activities and find out about the school curriculum to see whether it is right for your kids. Send your kids to piano lessons, valet lessons, and what not. And most importantly, don’t have more than 1 child if you know you can’t afford it!!!

Filipino parents in Canada should also stop emphasizing the GREAT OPPORTUNITIES and the HUGE INCOME that their children will get once they’ve managed to graduate in this so-called land of opportunity. Can’t we have a better conversation that is more productive like discussing school-related things and plans for further education? A discussion on current problems faced by Filipinos for instance instead of always saying that their children are so lucky to be in Canada? Clearly, ideas like these penetrate into the minds of newcomers who find themselves working as janitors, earning an hourly wage that is perhaps higher than the wage of doctors back home, and will say to themselves, “yeah, this job isn’t so bad after all.”, and next thing you know you are a 65-year old who have not really accomplished anything FOR KEEPS. There are better things than working as a janitor in Canada. Filipinos should stop comparing their income to the income of those back home, because in the first world people can earn up to $300, 000 as professionals if they would only invest their time and money on education instead of the $30-$35,000 average income that you can get as nannies, janitors, etc.
I am not saying these things to make some Filipinos feel bad or to discriminate against my own race but I am simply stating what I think is wrong with Filipinos’ mentality. So maybe instead of trying to look on the “bright” side of things by comparing your situation to the situation of those in the third world, why don’t you compare your situation to those in the first world? Look at the filthy rich Jewish lawyers and doctors for instance. Let’s stop attributing our situation to our colonial past, corrupted officials, and to the financial obligations that we have to our relatives back home, because to some extent, Filipinos invoke these things as an excuse for their failure to go beyond what they are capable of doing.

I appreciate your blog entry so much. I am glad to know that there are other Filipinos who think the way I do regarding the family structure and system of Filipinos. I hope blogs like this one are read by the many young Filipinos, especially Filipino parents.

This is another:

minsan alam nyo hindi "tulong" ang tawag dyan sa tinutukoy nyo eh, as this blog said "crab mentality" talaga. kasi minsan pag nagpapadala kami ng pera sa Pilipinas para lang i-abswelto kung ano mang' kataratuduhan ginawa ng iba naming kamag-anak don.

biruin nyo afford nga nilang mag-computer at mag-internet tapos pagdating sa sarili nila i-aasa pa sayo. ang mga taong tinutulungan ay yung mga: may kapansanan, lumpo, bulag, walang kamay at paa, na-aksidenteng tao, na-sunugan ng bahay at kung ano ano pa.

basta yung mga minalas sa buhay at hinde yung mga iresponsable at tangang tao na anak lang ng anak tapos i-aasa lang lahat sa mas masikap sa kanila. lahat naman ng nakatira sa ibang bansa ay may parehong access sa opportunity para baguhin sitwasyon nila.

pero magtataka kung bakit ang dami parin mga pilipinong kabataan ngayon sa ibang bansa na hinde nagsusumikap sa pag-aaral at pagta-trabaho. kaya tingin ko crab mentality talaga ang mostly filipino.

kapag alam kasi ng isang taong may maasahan sila, mas aasa pa sila at magpapahirap dahil alam nilang tutulungan parin sila kahit papano...at saka, kung narirealize pala ng mga pinoy sa pilipinas ang totoong hirap sa buhay, e bakit nagko-contribute parin sila sa hirap ng buhay nila? tulad nga ng pag-aanak ng madami at hinde pagsusumikap sa pag-aaral. madalas inaatupag pagba-barkada, inuman at pagso-syota.

ewan ko, masyado lang kasi tong' nakakapagtaka. ang taong alam ang totoong hirap, magpupursige dapat diba at hinde magpapahirap ng iba.

By the way,if one of these days, I cannot log here and wont be able to visit your sites upon each visit you make, simply buzz me here. When I can settle again and have a connection, I will be happy to visit your sites and read your posts or make comments. I’d love to return the effort and favor you make. Or, as I always do, I visit your blogs or sites but I am just having difficulties making a note in cbox or a comment with the mobile phone. It is very time consuming and a bit uncomfy. See you soon… Just leave a note here so it wont be lost. Because in my shoutmix, if in case many of you will leave comments, it tends to go away since I am not a premium member…Sorry for that.